John Rutherford wins in Florida's 4th Congressional District.

I congratulate John Rutherford (Republican) for running a fine campaign. With most of the votes in, it appears that he will be representing Florida’s 4^th Congressional District.  It looks like he got over 168,000 votes. David Bruderly (Democrat) apparently got over 73,000 votes. Gary Koniz (Independent) got over 5800 votes. Bruderly and Koniz also ran fine campaigns. There were 477 write-in votes, most of which were probably for me, since I was the only write-in candidate who was officially in the race.  

Congressman-elect Rutherford will be following in the footsteps of three great U.S. Representatives. I’m speaking of Ander Crenshaw, Tillie Fowler, and Charles Bennett, one of the all-time greats. I wish Mr. Rutherford all the best.

I thank all the dedicated and tireless volunteers who played such an important part in the campaign to #MakeAmericaLaughAgain. I couldn’t have done it without them. Also, I thank the 477 voters who chose to write in my name instead of just filling in one of the little circles. You sent a strong message!

To quote Winston Churchill, “This isn't the end. It's not even the beginning of the end. But it's, perhaps, the end of the beginning.”

What have I learned? I’d have to say that the most important lesson I’ve learned is that when you only have two signs, it’s hard to get them around to all the precincts.  

#MakeAmericaLaughAgain

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Choose Your poison: Trump The Magnificent, or Hillary “The Godmother” Clinton

The two major party candidates for President of the United States stink. Their stenches differ a bit, but they both stink to high heaven. Take your pick, voters. Hillary “The Godmother” Clinton, head of the Clintoni Crime Syndicate who will be making deals that citizens can’t refuse, or His Most Excellent Tremendous Excellency Donald “The Magnificent” Trump. 

One of them is going to win the election in a mudslide because they are both slinging it like never before. No matter who wins, Americans are probably going to be stuck for four years with the most tyrannical President in our country’s history. So, whose hand do you want to kneel down and kiss?

The Make America Laugh Again campaign rolls on in Florida’s 4^th Congressional District

John Rutherford, who seeks to represent Florida’s 4^th Congressional District, sat out the recent debate with three other candidates at FSCJ last week. With endorsements from The Florida Times-Union and incumbent Ander Crenshaw, and with the name recognition that comes from serving for twelve years as the elected Sheriff of Duval County, and with about a gazillion dollars in donations, he appears to be coasting his way to Congress.

Newsflash: Danny Murphy has not dropped out of the race and Danny Murphy will not drop out.  There’s too much at stake. Voters can write his name in on the blank line under the names of the other three candidates. 

Another Newsflash: If you need some non-partisan entertainment for an election party in the near future, Danny Murphy has some limited availability between campaign appearances. Send him an email at danny@business-humor.com. 

I'm Danny Murphy, and I approve of this rant. 

#MakeAmericaLaughAgain

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Make America Laugh Again: Danny Murphy's closing comments at Congressional Candidates' Debate, FSCJ North Campus

Photo by A.G. Gancarski

The debate was held at the North Campus of Florida State College in Jacksonville on Wednesday, October 26, 2016. Participants in the debate were David Bruderly (Democrat), Gary Koniz (Independent), and yours truly (write-in  candidate with no party affiliation). The front-runner, John Rutherford (Republican), sat out the event. The complete text of my closing comments is below the video. 

Many Americans have lost their sense of humor, especially when it comes to politics. According to a poll by The American Psychological Association, 52 percent of Americans over 18 years old say that this election is a source of stress for them. We no longer laugh as we once did. It’s no wonder considering the current political climate.  Candidates have been getting meaner and the jokes have been getting uglier. However, we can make America laugh again. Not with insults to belittle one another, but with kinder gentler jokes.

People say that laughter is the best medicine. So why isn’t comedy part of healthcare? Laughter is not only the best medicine. It’s also our least costly healthcare option. With my Haha Health Program, Comedy Practitioners will be able to prescribe jokes that heal instead of expensive drugs. Consumers are going to see tremendous savings!

I envision an America with a thousand points of laughter, all over this great land of ours. This laugh is your laugh, this laugh is my laugh. Life, liberty, and laughter - these are the values that will bring our country back together. Ask not what your country can do to make you laugh. Ask what you can do to make a fellow American laugh. Give me laughter, or give me death! Preferably laughter.

I’m Danny Murphy and I approve of these jokes. 

#MakeAmericaLaughAgain

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Make America Laugh Again: Congressional Candidates Debate at Florida State College in Jacksonville

My Opening Comments, October 26, 2016

Photo by A.G. Gancarski

I read recently that intelligence is now considered a key element for sex appeal. You know, it really did take a genius to figure that out. Thank you very much! As I look around tonight, I am seeing a lot of intelligent people.

One thing that I will give you that these other candidates will not is a good joke to open every speech. That is my solemn promise to you, the voters.

Now on to the serious stuff. First, I’d like to thank the organizers of this event for inviting me to be here tonight. I’m especially delighted to be here at Florida State College in Jacksonville. Back in the 80s, when this fine institution was known as Florida Community College at Jacksonville, I earned my Associates Degree here. I took my first speech class at Kent Campus. When I was President of the North Florida Writers’ Group, we had our meetings at the Kent Campus. My eldest daughter earned her Associates Degree at FSCJ. My other daughter and my son are currently enrolled.

FSCJ has been preparing people in this part of the state for successful careers for a very long time. Unfortunately, the economy is not providing as many good opportunities as we’ve seen in the past. These days, you can do the right thing, study and earn your degree, and then graduate into a world where you get to earn minimum wage or a tiny bit more. We are years into the recovery from the Great Recession and the economy is growing at the anemic rate of two percent per year. That is not a growth rate which will produce the good jobs and the new businesses that people need to succeed. Two percent is completely unacceptable.

(This is where I got cut off for time. I should have been reading faster!)

The two party system has failed miserably to get the economy running. The two party system has also failed to produce good candidates for President. Many, many voters are likely to sit out this election because they cannot, in good conscience, vote for either candidate. Whichever candidate wins will start out as one of the most unpopular Presidents in our country’s history.  This is where the two party system has taken us. It’s not working.

It’s time for a new approach and I want to be part of that. That’s why I’m running with no party affiliation. The ballot will have the names of the Democrat, the Republican, and the Independent. Below their names there will be a blank line where you’ll be able to write in my name, Danny Murphy. I hope that you will consider doing something different and writing my name in on November 8^th.

I’m Danny Murphy, and I approve of this rant.

---

I won some Comedy Central contest 20 years ago with that sex appeal joke. However, it fell flat at the debate. I was the third candidate to make opening comments and people were looking around like, "What is this guy doing?" I didn't time the opening well either and I got cut off with two paragraphs to go. Oh well. It was an interesting night. I was the last candidate to close. I was feeling it by then and I closed pretty strong, as in funny.