Abolish the Electrical College? Oh, the democracy!

Courtesy of Wikipedia

In the wake of the recent election, many people have called for the abolition of the Electrical College. I was initially inclined to disagree. However, having had the opportunity to chew on it a bit more, I now think that getting rid of the Electrical College might be a good idea. Who came up with the Electrical College, anyways? My guess is that it was Ben Franklin, who loved electricity in a very personal way.

Don’t get me wrong. For the most part, I have nothing against electricians, even though they can be quite expensive. They help to deliver power to businesses and homeowners every day. When you need a good electrician, nothing else will do. I and my family were out of power for 24 hours during Hurricane Matthew, so I know what it’s like to have no electricity. No TV, no radio, nothing. It was me, my wife, and my three children. All we had was each other! I never want to live like that again.

Nevertheless, I now believe that the power that the Electrical College wields should not extend to the selection of our great country’s President. Furthermore, there are apprenticeship programs all over the country where aspiring electricians can get the education and training they need. That is why I now stand with those who advocate for the abolition of the Electrical College.

I’m Danny Murphy, and I approve of this rant!

Anti-Trump Protest in Jacksonville

Jacksonville had its first post-election anti-Trump rally on November 11, 2016, at Riverside Park. I went expecting to see the same kind of anger and anarchy that has been showing up in other cities. I’m happy to report that I didn’t see anything like that. The event started out with about ten people lighting candles and making signs with magic markers. Over the course of the next hour, the group grew to about fifty.

There was more sadness than anger. Some people are genuinely concerned about what happens next. That's understandable considering the President-elect's rhetoric and his past. The comments offered up were positive, focusing on the need for political change. There were no chants of “Not my President.” After about an hour, the group joined in singing several songs, ending with The Star Spangled Banner. 

There seemed to be an acceptance that the results of the election weren’t what most of the people at the event would have liked. There was also determination about how to move forward. There was no burning of flags and no destruction of property. The event was an entirely proper expression of free speech. It would be nice if the demonstrators in other cities could follow the example of the participants in the Jacksonville event. 

Grieving over a political loss

As a write-in candidate with no party affiliation, I was soundly defeated in my bid to represent Florida’s 4^th Congressional District. The winner, Republican John Rutherford, got over 168,000 votes. There were 477 write-in votes and there's no way to really know how many of those were for me. It’s fair to say that I was thrashed, throttled, and thrown under a bus. 

Were my supporters upset? Deeply. Did they organize protests and then riots? No. After 24 hours, they all moved on with their lives. The courage of those volunteers is just unbelievable! They are an inspiration to me and I hope that others who are upset over the results of the election will look at them as role models. I know I do.

It was a Trump-ific and Trump-endous election!

Donald Trump likes the word terrific. Another good word is tremendous. And those two words can be combined: tremendously terrific and terrifically tremendous. Also, it’s probably time to add a few brand new words to the language: Trumpific and Trumpendous. It’s just a matter of time!

Abolish the Electoral College?

Getting rid of the Electoral College would require a Constitutional amendment, which isn't easy. According to the National Archives, “The Constitution provides that an amendment may be proposed either by the Congress with a two-thirds majority vote in both the House of Representatives and the Senate or by a constitutional convention called for by two-thirds of the State legislatures.” 

If a movement to amend the Constitution could overcome that very high hurdle, the amendment would then have to be ratified/approved by three quarters of the states. Here’s the insurmountable problem. The less populous states will never agree to give up any of their clout in national elections so that the more populous states could have more clout. It will never happen.  

The states can determine what happens to their Electoral votes. Most states simply award all of their votes to whichever candidate wins in their own state. Nebraska and Maine split their votes based on the results of the election in their own state. 

Also, there's an effort to get states to award their votes to the winner of the popular vote nationally. If states with 270 Electoral votes or more agree to that, it would ensure that the winner of the popular vote would win the election. 

Renunciation of Citizenship?

People are saying “Trump is not my President.” Actually, unless people renounce their citizenship, Trump will, in fact, be their President. Like it, or not. Fortunately, there is a guidebook on how to go about renouncing citizenship. 

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Votes Matter: Protests after the election, not so much.

The objectives of the anti-Trump protestors aren’t clear yet, but it appears that they want the election nullified. They’re burning flags. They’re chanting “Not my President.” They’re burning the President-elect in effigy. 

While they themselves are behaving like anarchists, they are calling Trump and his supporters fascists. They don’t seem to understand the political process. Candidates campaigned. We had an election. People voted. Donald Trump won decisievly.

Votes matter. Protests afterward, not so much.

#VotesMatter

Pollsters Performing Poorly, coming soon to a screen near you.

They all said that Trump’s path to victory was “narrow.” They said it over and over and over. Did anyone predict that he would get 300 electoral votes? I don’t think so.  Considering the pathetic performances of the pollsters, they either don’t know how to do their jobs or they were doing their work is such a way as to influence the outcome. Either way, they failed miserably. There may be excellent business opportunities for entrepreneurial types who can do better.

Womb University, Home of The Babies

Many college students are distraught over the results of the election. Some are in deep need of consolation and are unable to go to their classes. Welcome to Womb University, your safe space for higher education. We have lots of hugs and the cocoa flows freely.

Check out our hockey team, The Womb U Babies. They’ve never won, but, then again, winning isn’t everything. The important thing is how you play the game! And when you play the game the way it should be played, we’ll all be winners. Yay!

#GiveMeASafeSpaceOrGiveMeDeath 

Empathy Center for the Treatment of Sensitivity Deficiencies and Disorders

Womb University is proud to announce the grand opening of its new Empathy Center. While most of our faculty and students understand the importance of compassion for others, we do occasionally come across individuals who think others should “suck it up, quit whining, and grow up.” It’s unfortunate, but there are still people here and there who think that way. They need help, and they can get it at the Empathy Center. There are classes in Remedial Compassion, as well as group therapy and individual counseling. 

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John Rutherford wins in Florida's 4th Congressional District.

I congratulate John Rutherford (Republican) for running a fine campaign. With most of the votes in, it appears that he will be representing Florida’s 4^th Congressional District.  It looks like he got over 168,000 votes. David Bruderly (Democrat) apparently got over 73,000 votes. Gary Koniz (Independent) got over 5800 votes. Bruderly and Koniz also ran fine campaigns. There were 477 write-in votes, most of which were probably for me, since I was the only write-in candidate who was officially in the race.  

Congressman-elect Rutherford will be following in the footsteps of three great U.S. Representatives. I’m speaking of Ander Crenshaw, Tillie Fowler, and Charles Bennett, one of the all-time greats. I wish Mr. Rutherford all the best.

I thank all the dedicated and tireless volunteers who played such an important part in the campaign to #MakeAmericaLaughAgain. I couldn’t have done it without them. Also, I thank the 477 voters who chose to write in my name instead of just filling in one of the little circles. You sent a strong message!

To quote Winston Churchill, “This isn't the end. It's not even the beginning of the end. But it's, perhaps, the end of the beginning.”

What have I learned? I’d have to say that the most important lesson I’ve learned is that when you only have two signs, it’s hard to get them around to all the precincts.  

#MakeAmericaLaughAgain

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Choose Your poison: Trump The Magnificent, or Hillary “The Godmother” Clinton

The two major party candidates for President of the United States stink. Their stenches differ a bit, but they both stink to high heaven. Take your pick, voters. Hillary “The Godmother” Clinton, head of the Clintoni Crime Syndicate who will be making deals that citizens can’t refuse, or His Most Excellent Tremendous Excellency Donald “The Magnificent” Trump. 

One of them is going to win the election in a mudslide because they are both slinging it like never before. No matter who wins, Americans are probably going to be stuck for four years with the most tyrannical President in our country’s history. So, whose hand do you want to kneel down and kiss?

The Make America Laugh Again campaign rolls on in Florida’s 4^th Congressional District

John Rutherford, who seeks to represent Florida’s 4^th Congressional District, sat out the recent debate with three other candidates at FSCJ last week. With endorsements from The Florida Times-Union and incumbent Ander Crenshaw, and with the name recognition that comes from serving for twelve years as the elected Sheriff of Duval County, and with about a gazillion dollars in donations, he appears to be coasting his way to Congress.

Newsflash: Danny Murphy has not dropped out of the race and Danny Murphy will not drop out.  There’s too much at stake. Voters can write his name in on the blank line under the names of the other three candidates. 

Another Newsflash: If you need some non-partisan entertainment for an election party in the near future, Danny Murphy has some limited availability between campaign appearances. Send him an email at danny@business-humor.com. 

I'm Danny Murphy, and I approve of this rant. 

#MakeAmericaLaughAgain

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Make America Laugh Again: Danny Murphy's closing comments at Congressional Candidates' Debate, FSCJ North Campus

Photo by A.G. Gancarski

The debate was held at the North Campus of Florida State College in Jacksonville on Wednesday, October 26, 2016. Participants in the debate were David Bruderly (Democrat), Gary Koniz (Independent), and yours truly (write-in  candidate with no party affiliation). The front-runner, John Rutherford (Republican), sat out the event. The complete text of my closing comments is below the video. 

Many Americans have lost their sense of humor, especially when it comes to politics. According to a poll by The American Psychological Association, 52 percent of Americans over 18 years old say that this election is a source of stress for them. We no longer laugh as we once did. It’s no wonder considering the current political climate.  Candidates have been getting meaner and the jokes have been getting uglier. However, we can make America laugh again. Not with insults to belittle one another, but with kinder gentler jokes.

People say that laughter is the best medicine. So why isn’t comedy part of healthcare? Laughter is not only the best medicine. It’s also our least costly healthcare option. With my Haha Health Program, Comedy Practitioners will be able to prescribe jokes that heal instead of expensive drugs. Consumers are going to see tremendous savings!

I envision an America with a thousand points of laughter, all over this great land of ours. This laugh is your laugh, this laugh is my laugh. Life, liberty, and laughter - these are the values that will bring our country back together. Ask not what your country can do to make you laugh. Ask what you can do to make a fellow American laugh. Give me laughter, or give me death! Preferably laughter.

I’m Danny Murphy and I approve of these jokes. 

#MakeAmericaLaughAgain

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