My Opening Comments, October 26, 2016
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| Photo by A.G. Gancarski |
I read recently that
intelligence is now considered a key element for sex appeal. You know, it
really did take a genius to figure that out. Thank you very much! As I look
around tonight, I am seeing a lot of intelligent people.
One thing that I will
give you that these other candidates will not is a good joke to open every
speech. That is my solemn promise to you, the voters.
Now on to the serious
stuff. First, I’d like to thank the organizers of this event for inviting me to
be here tonight. I’m especially delighted to be here at Florida State College
in Jacksonville. Back in the 80s, when this fine institution was known as
Florida Community College at Jacksonville, I earned my Associates Degree here. I
took my first speech class at Kent Campus. When I was President of the North
Florida Writers’ Group, we had our meetings at the Kent Campus. My eldest
daughter earned her Associates Degree at FSCJ. My other daughter and my son are
currently enrolled.
FSCJ has been preparing
people in this part of the state for successful careers for a very long time.
Unfortunately, the economy is not providing as many good opportunities as we’ve
seen in the past. These days, you can do the right thing, study and earn your
degree, and then graduate into a world where you get to earn minimum wage or a tiny
bit more. We are years into the recovery from the Great Recession and the
economy is growing at the anemic rate of two percent per year. That is not a
growth rate which will produce the good jobs and the new businesses that people
need to succeed. Two percent is completely unacceptable.
(This is where I got
cut off for time. I should have been reading faster!)
The two party system
has failed miserably to get the economy running. The two party system has also
failed to produce good candidates for President. Many, many voters are likely
to sit out this election because they cannot, in good conscience, vote for
either candidate. Whichever candidate wins will start out as one of the most
unpopular Presidents in our country’s history. This is where the two party system has taken
us. It’s not working.
It’s time for a new
approach and I want to be part of that. That’s why I’m running with no party
affiliation. The ballot will have the names of the Democrat, the Republican,
and the Independent. Below their names there will be a blank line where you’ll
be able to write in my name, Danny Murphy. I hope that you will consider doing
something different and writing my name in on November 8th.
I’m Danny Murphy, and I approve of this rant.
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I won some Comedy Central contest 20 years ago with that sex appeal joke. However, it fell flat at the debate. I was the third candidate to make opening comments and people were looking around like, "What is this guy doing?" I didn't time the opening well either and I got cut off with two paragraphs to go. Oh well. It was an interesting night. I was the last candidate to close. I was feeling it by then and I closed pretty strong, as in funny.
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