Texas Chaise Lounge Massacre: Halloween Jokes

You know how people sometimes tell you to sit down for bad news? Well maybe you should stand up for this terrifying tidbit. 

Sitting can be hazardous to your health!

Last year The Wall Street Journal published columns by Sumatha Reddy and Jason Gay on the dangers of sitting. For centuries, people have assumed that having a seat was safe. Now we know that sitting kills, and it should terrify everyone. 

This stunning news could inspire a new genre of horror films. Here are a few possible titles.

• Texas Chaise Lounge Massacre
• The Savage Seats
• Rabid Recliners
• Chair Chamber Bloodfest
• Attack of the Adirondacks
• The Bloody Barber Chair
• Dental Chair of Death
• Killer Couches from Outer Space

Those titles may seem like Halloween Jokes, but this is nothing to laugh about. The chairs aren’t coming. They’re already here, in our homes and cars, in our workplaces, in public parks and libraries – you name it. Be afraid. Be very afraid!

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